We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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