listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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