wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
