Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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