i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
