I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
