I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
