So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
