I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
