I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
