I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
