fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
