i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
