i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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