She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
