I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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