I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
