i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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