I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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