if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
