guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
