Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
