then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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