and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
