eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
