no, he came in my armpit
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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