Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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