Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
