Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
cat food counts as protein by the way
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
