So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
