I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
