I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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