Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
