I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
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