i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
