i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
