he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
