How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
