And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
