Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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