I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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