when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
