Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
