smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
