I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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