a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
