Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
