I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
