I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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