I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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