Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
